Showing posts with label Kunju Swami. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kunju Swami. Show all posts

Kunju Swami

IT WAS IN 1919 that I first came to Sri Bhagavan. He was then living at Skandasramam on the slope of the Hill Arunachala. His mother and brother lived with him. Palaniswami used to attend to his few personal wants.

Plague had driven away most of the inhabitants of the town and consequently visitors to Sri Bhagavan were few. I was, therefore, left alone with Sri Bhagavan most of the time.

I related to him all the spiritual practices I had been doing, what I had been studying, and what experiences I had. At that time I was very unhappy because in spite of all I had done I was unable to experience samadhi.

After patiently hearing me out, Bhagavan quoted from Kaivalya Navaneeta: "If you realize who you are, there is no cause for sorrow." "So if you come to understand who you are, then there is peace," said Bhagavan.

Well, I did not know what was meant by "know who you are." Bhagavan went on to explain that the mind is only a bundle of thoughts and that if I seek the source of all thoughts I would be drawn into the Heart. He simultaneously pointed to his Heart.

Bhagavan was looking at me intently and I focused my attention in the manner he instructed me and within a few minutes I was led into samadhi. I was thrilled. Coming to my senses we went for lunch. Then again, I sat before him and by a single look he put me into that blissful state. This experience occurred again and again-during all seventeen days that I stayed with Bhagavan. I was like one intoxicated. I was absolutely indifferent to everything. I had no curiosity to see anything, no desire whatsoever. What I did I did most mechanically. I would have continued to live in this state if it had not occurred to me that it was not proper to partake of the food that was offered to Sri Bhagavan by his devotees without paying anything. I thought that he had initiated me into the experience of Brahman and that I had nothing more to gain by staying in his presence. I, therefore, returned to my native place and began to practise meditation in a room in my house all by myself. I could succeed to gain and retain that experience only for a few days; it started to diminish gradually and at last one day it was lost. I could not regain the experience. I decided to return to Sri Bhagavan. This I did, and great good fortune awaited me when I came.

Palaniswami, who was rendering personal service to Sri Bhagavan, had to go on a journey for some time. Before going he asked me to render such service. This I considered to be my greatest good fortune. I felt extremely happy for the grace which Bhagavan had shown me. I did not thereafter bother myself about the spiritual experience.

I, however, asked Bhagavan why I could not get the experience when I meditated in my house. Bhagavan said: "You have read Kaivalya Navaneeta, have you not? Don't you remember what it says?" And he took up the book and read the relevant verses.

Sri Bhagavan then explained to me at great length the purport of these verses. They relate to the doubt raised by the disciple about the need to continue spiritual practices even after one has had the supreme experience. The disciple wonders whether the spiritual experience once gained could be lost. The Guru says that it would be until he took care to practise sravana, manana and nididhyasana, that is hearing from the Guru the Truth, reflecting over it and assimilating it. The experience would occur in the presence of the Guru, but it would not last. Doubts would arise again and again and in order to clear them the disciple should continue to study, think and practice. These would be done until the distinction of the knower, the object of knowledge and the act of knowing no longer arise. In the view of Sri Bhagavan's explanation I decided to stay always byBhagavan's side and practise sravana, manana and nididhyasana.

In olden days when we had the benefit of receiving personal instructions from Sri Bhagavan, one of them was to get into meditation before going to sleep. Thus sleep overtook one as a natural sequel to fatigue and was not induced or preceded by lying down. Also the first thing in the morning, immediately on getting up from bed was to go into meditation. This ensured a serenity of mind and also a feeling of tirelessness throughout the day. The state of mind immediately before sleep is resumed on waking. After spending about twelve years in personal attendance on Bhagavan, I began to feel an urge to devote myself entirely to sadhana. However, I could not easily reconcile myself to giving up my personal service to Bhagavan. I had been debating the matter for some days when the answer came in a strange way.

As I entered the hall one day I heard Bhagavan explaining to others who were there that real service to him did not mean attending to his physical needs but following the essence of his teaching: that is concentrating on realizing the Self. Needless to say, that automatically cleared my doubts.

I therefore gave up my Ashrama duties, but I then found it hard to decide how, in fact, I should spend the entire day in search of Realization. I referred the matter to Bhagavan and he advised me to make Self-enquiry my final aim but to practise Self-enquiry, meditation, japa and recitation of scripture turn by turn, changing over from one to another as and when I found the one I was doing irksome or difficult. In course of time, he said, the sadhana would become stabilized in Self-enquiry or pure Consciousness or Realization.

Before recommending any path to an aspirant Bhagavan would first find out from him what aspect or form or path he was naturally drawn to and then recommend the person to follow it. He would sometimes endorse the traditional stages of sadhana, advancing from worship (puja) to incantation (japa), then to meditation(dhyana), and finally to Self-enquiry (vichara ). However, he also use to say that continuous and rigorous practice of any one of these methods was adequate in itself to lead to Realization.

Once some awkward problems concerning the Ashrama management came up. Without being directly concerned, I was worried about them, as I felt that failure to solve them satisfactorily would impair the good name of the Ashrama.

One day two or three devotees went to Bhagavan and put the problems before him. I happened to enter the hall while they were talking about them, and he immediately turned to me and asked me why I was interesting myself in such matters. I did not grasp the meaning of his question, so Bhagavan explained that a person should occupy himself only with that purpose with which he had originally come to the Ashrama and asked me what my original purpose had been. I replied: "To receive Bhagavan's grace." So he said: "Then occupy yourself with that only."

He further continued by asking me whether I had any interest in matters concerning the Ashrama management when I first came here. On my replying that I had not, he added: "Then concentrate on the original purpose of your coming here." There are numerous photos of Bhagavan. Have you ever seen one with his eyes closed? Bhagavan was pouring out his grace through his eyes. There would be any number of devotees sitting before him and each one would feel that Bhagavan was looking only at him or her.

There are numerous photos of Bhagavan. Have you ever seen one with his eyes closed? Bhagavan was pouring out his grace through his eyes. There would be any number of devotees sitting before him and each one would feel that Bhagavan was looking only at him or her.

Bhagavan's dristhi (sight) was concentrated on space only. It was turned inward and everyone felt inwardly, in their hearts, that his sight was focused on them alone. Bhagavan cares about everyone, and his look pierces through each one's heart, dispels our darkness, gives us peace, even some liberation.

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Kunju Swami

Bhagavan's Solicitude for Devotees

Kunju Swami




An old and well-known devotee of Bhagavan describes some instances of Bhagavan’s solicitude for his devotees, especially for women and old people.

BHAGAVAN WAS ALWAYS very considerate towards his devotees in all matters. When he was living at Skandashram on the eastern slopes of the hill, he used to wake up at 3 o’clock in the morning. He would not get up immediately but recline on the bed. We too would wake up at the same time and sit in meditation near him. Bhagavan’s mother used to sing some devotional songs from within. Bhagavan’s routine was to go out at half past four and return by five. We would then begin to recite the Aksharamana Malai (The Marital Garland of Letters). That was the only song which Bhagavan had composed at that time. I learned it by heart by merely listening to the chanting of the other devotees. The recitation was over by six o’clock which was the time for Bhagavan to go for his bath.

There was a large flat stone at the spot where now there is the low wall on the eastern side. Tooth powder and water were kept on it for Bhagavan’s use. In all weathers he used to sit on it facing the east and clean his teeth. His body was glowing in the rays of the rising sun. If there was heavy dew we tried to dissuade him from sitting there, but without any success. Nor did he tell us the reason for sitting there always. It was some time afterwards that we came to know of it.

An old woman named Saubhagyathammal, living in a house near the foot of the hill, and some of her friends had made it a daily practice not to take any food until they had had darshan of Bhagavan and Sri Seshadri Swami. They used to come up to Skandashram every day for this purpose. One day Saubhagyathammal did not come. If any of his regular devotees were absent on any particular day Bhagavan never failed to make enquiries and find out the reason. So when the old woman came the next day he asked her why she did not come on the previous day. She replied,“I had Sri Bhagavan’s darshan yesterday.” “But you did not come yesterday”, said Bhagavan. “Bhagavan knew that this humble devotee was too feeble to climb the hill and so he made it possible for her to see him from a place close to her house”, was the reply. She explained that she had seen Bhagavan while he was sitting on the stone and cleaning his teeth and said that she was henceforth going to have his darshan everyday in the same way. From that time onwards Bhagavan made it a practice to sit on that stone for nearly half an hour daily. Later on when Bhagavan took up his abode at the foot of the hill it was also chiefly out of consideration for his aged devotees who found it difficult to climb to Skandashram. After the passing away of his mother he occasionally came down to her samadhi. Aged devotees eagerly awaited these opportunities to see him. And so when they begged him to remain below he began to live there permanently.

It was the practice of Bhagavan’s devotees to take his permission before proceeding to circumambulate the hill and to prostrate before him on their return. Many came to the Ashram all the way from the town for this purpose even late in the evening and then proceeded immediately to their homes in the town. Bhagavan advised such devotees to break their circumambulation in town in the evening and to complete it on the following day when they came to the Ashram as usual.

When women devotees were ready to return to town at dusk he would always make certain that none of them went alone. If any of them found no company he would ask someone to go with her and leave her at her house.

There were some devotees employed in Madras who used to come every weekend to Tiruvannamalai and return to Madras in time to go to their offices on Monday morning. Sometimes some of them were so reluctant to part from Bhagavan that they continued to overstay their time. They would go as far as the railway station only to return to the Ashram on some pretext or other. Bhagavan, therefore, used in such cases to send someone with them to the railway station and see that they actually got into the train and left for Madras. He did not like that anyone should neglect his duties!

When a devotee came late in the evening after every one had taken his meal and gone to bed he was not allowed to go hungry on this account. Bhagavan always saw to it that some food was kept for such late-comers and that they had their meal. When such a visitor arrived Bhagavan simply looked at some of us. That was enough for us to take him to the dining hall and give him his meal!

Bhagavan never started to eat before all those who were present were served. The beggars waiting at the gate are even now given their food before inmates and visitors are served. No exception is made to this rule even on crowded occasions like the Jayanthi and the Aradhana. All these instances will show how considerate Bhagavan was to others!

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