OM NAMO BHAGAVATE SRI RAMANAYA

How I Came to Bhagavan

Roda MacIver

I HEARD ABOUT Sri Bhagavan for the first time in 1939 from a friend who showed me his photograph. I was very much struck by his eyes and wished to go and see him. My desire to go to Tiruvannamalai to Sri Bhagavan’s abode could not be fulfilled until 1942. A friend, who had just finished building a house in Tiruvannamalai invited me to stay with her. I eagerly accepted the invitation. When I arrived I was indisposed for a few days and could not go to the Ashram.I heard that Sri Bhagavan was in the habit of going for a walk on the hill of Arunachala every day at regular hours, so I went there and waited on the path. On the crest of the hilly path a head emerged like the rising sun and then I saw the whole majestic tall figure, Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi! Slowly he came towards me, his attendant a few steps behind. He stopped for a few moments before me, smiling and looking at me graciously. My heart was beating fast and I could not utter a word. I cannot describe how I felt really.I experienced a coolness.

During the next two years I was visiting the Ashram constantly. Then in 1944 one day I went into the hall. Sri Bhagavan was reading some papers. I sat down and looked at him. Suddenly he put away the papers and turned his luminous eyes on me. I could not stand his gaze so I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my face.When I opened my eyes he was still looking at me. My heart was flooded with joy and an inner calmness! Later I went to see a friend of mine, Sri Munagala Venkataramiah,1 and told him in detail about this occurrence in the hall. He said that I was very fortunate to have received initiation from Sri Bhagavan. There was no doubt about it!

Next morning when I was in the hall somebody asked Sri Bhagavan what was the use of sitting before him. Does he give initiation? Sri Bhagavan replied that initiation can be given in three ways: by silence, by look and by touch. When saying “by look”, he looked at me. Then I remembered what I was told the day before about my experience and had no doubt that I had received initiation from Sri Bhagavan, my most revered Master!

After a month’s stay I returned to Bombay, and there was a complete change in my life. Worldly pleasures ceased to attract me and I wanted to be alone as much as possible. I decided to leave Bombay and settle down in Tiruvannamalai but did not know where to stay. It was difficult in those days to get accommodation but I knew Sri Bhagavan was guiding me and so I did not worry much. He would arrange everything. And it so happened that two days before leaving Bombay I met my husband to be. He told me to go and stay in his house in Tiruvannamalai and so I left happily. Soon after, with Sri Bhagavan’s blessings, we got married and this house became my permanent home.

By Bhagavan’s grace I am now permanently settled here and do not intend to leave. He still helps and guides me as before and often hears my prayers. His Presence now is even more powerful than when he was in the physical body. My love for Sri Bhagavan sustains me and is of the greatest importance in my life!